"Alien Vs. Predator" uses every monster movie cliché proving once again that two for the price of one (at least in Hollywood) is not necessarily a bargain.
Sorry to rain on the parade of Alien and Predator fans, but "Alien Vs. Predator" is simply a long series of warmed over scenes from "The Thing" (‘82) and both the original "Alien" and "Predator" motion pictures.
Writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson must have said, "When in doubt…trot out the standard and easily recognizable scenes from "Alien" and "Predator." Don’t take any risk, and for gosh sake, don’t show the audience anything new."
Admittedly, when you have a series film with a presold audience, the audience expects certain things to happen. And they’re disappointed when they don’t. However, the same audience doesn’t like to be insulted. Case in point: In "Alien Vs. Predator" the face huggers, chest busters and the queen alien arrive exactly Que. There’s no of element of surprise or even a hint of suspense. And the cliché ending opens the door for a sequel that we just don’t need.
In fact, the only surprise in this film is the ticket price and the concession stand’s inflationary prices for popcorn.
"Ouch!"
Unlike the original "Alien and Predator," "Alien Vs. Predator" totally ignores a suspenseful build up to the action and character development is non-existent. In true comic book fashion (on which the film is based), "AVP" jumps right into the action.
The film’s premise follows a team of explorers, hired by billionaire Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen) who has a fondness of making robots in his own image, investigating the mysterious heat radiation 2,000 feet below the ice in Antarctica
Led by mountain-climber guide Alexa Woods (Sanna Lathan in a Sigourney Weaver-ish role), the team finds the ruins of an ancient pyramid beneath the ice.
Here’s where the fun begins. Woods’ team enters the pyramid and accidentally activates a maze inside the structure that reconfigures every 10 minutes.
The reason?
Well, every 100 years the Predators come to Earth and perform a hunting ritual in which their young track and kill Aliens (that they breed), through the maze, so that they can achieve their manhood.
Naturally, Woods’ team activates the maze prematurely and finds themselves in the middle of pissed off Aliens and Predators.
Of course as the explorers try to make their way to the surface, the movie becomes a standard "monster in the house flick." There’s a lot of running, yelling and screaming going on. But we’ve seen it all before. I must admit up until this point, I never seen anyone manhandle an Alien, as one of the Predators did once the combatants started mixing it up. But by the time the rhubarb commences, we’ve already been strung along by too much stale dialogue and lame plot twist that make little or no sense at all.
We’ve already had Freddy Vs. Jason, last year that proved to be box office bomb. And if Hollywood filmmakers are allowed to continue uncheck, we can probably look forward to "Alien Vs. Jurassic Park" or "Predator Vs. Jason."
|
